On Sunday, Kyle will pick me up and we will head out on a 3 hour road trip to San Luis Obispo to visit some friends. This will be the first time we will see each other since we started talking back in April and we will be stuck in a car together, possibly fighting over the road trip music (I will want to listen to Jay-Z, John Mayer or *NSYNC, he will want to listen to Limp Bizket or Linkin Park). I will lose this fight because if there’s one thing I’ve learned about Kyle it’s that he is the DJ and the master playlist maker and I’m the pretty little one who tells the stories and does the embarrassing car dances.
The idea came up one night via text message. “Would you want to take a road trip with me?” he asked. And I was taken aback because no one has ever asked to voluntarily be trapped in a car with me for hours on end (except my ex boyfriend who took me to a Tennessee football game and broke up with me the following weekend). I agreed and we decided (together) the best time to take the trip would be while I’m home, during the two days we set aside as “our days” (weird) and the planning began. And now, I’m packing a bag for two whole days away with a guy who I’ve only seen via Facetime. This all feels very “relationshippy” and very drastic, and there are a lot of mixed emotions that come with this little road trip: “will he like me when he sees me in person?”, “will I really be able to be myself around him?”, “will I let him hold my hand even though I hate being touched?”, “does he even want to hold my hand?!”
He better, just so I have the option of turning him down.
I won’t turn him down.
Most importantly: “WILL HE JUDGE MY ROAD TRIP SNACKS?!”
All these little things nagging at my brain as I toss pajamas (UMM WHAT THE EFF WILL THE SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS BE?!), a toothbrush (DEAR GOD HE HAS TO SEE ME IN THE MORNING) and my curling iron for mermaid curls (WHAT IF HE THINKS I’M HIGH MAINTENANCE?!) into my bag. All these little things, making me a nervous wreck. Everyone tells me this is normal. And I’m like “THIS DOES NOT FEEL NORMAL. THIS FEELS LIKE SO MUCH GRAVEL IS SITTING IN MY STOMACH!”
But you know what? Everyone is right. There’s a bit of mystery around this trip of ours. The kind of mystery that makes me feel giddy; like I used to feel on Christmas Eve as a little girl. And he’s giddy, too. There’s a bit of nervousness around this little trip of ours, like the way I felt the night before I went to Prom as a senior with a guy I really liked. And he’s nervous, too. Actually, this whole thing is very non-traditional in a traditional kind of way.
Just when you thought I was going to start making sense, I went rogue.
We met through friends, but have only had communication through technology. We have mutual friends, but have never met face to face. We talk all the time, but have never been in the same timezone. We know each other but we don’t “know” each other in person.
And all that is going to change on Sunday, when we’re stuck in a car together for 3 hours.
It’s so strange but at the same time he feels so familiar. And in a weird way, that comforts me. It means while I will fidget and talk too much and probably do everything I can do make him try and hate me (easier to make a clean break that way), I won’t be alone because he will be doing the same, in his own “guy” way. And as we hit the road (WITH SNACKS) things will get more comfortable with every mile.
So I guess what I’m saying is that I’m excited. And we’re going to eat a lot and drink a lot of wine and just be normal for a few days. I can’t wait for normal.
I wonder if I can get him to play this little jam I’m obsessed with right now in the car….if not, you’ll see me hitch hiking on the side of the road.